Through the Eyes of a Wombat

The Chronicles of Housemateski

Living in Cairns, the company has put me in an apartment owned by someone somehow connected - and I am sharing with a rather interesting Czech fellow, who has given me a few causes to laugh over the past month or so.

Housemateski escaped from Czechoslovakia during the communist days, but now regularly returns to visit. When I first arrived in Cairns, his Girlfriendski was also living here, but she then embarked on a three week trip to the Czech Republic, leaving poor Housemateski to fend for himself; what was evidently the first time he had had to do so in quite a while.

Girlfriendski is quite a cook, and indeed plied me with Czech dumplings in my first few days here. Yet without her guidance, Housemateski had to learn, and learn quickly. The first day he was alone, I get a knock on my door, and a forlorn question: "How do you turn the oven on?". Fair question, I thought, because some ovens take remarkable calisthenics to operate, although this one here one simply turns on.

A few days later, another forlorn question: "How do you use the washing machine?"

He became reasonably self-sufficient after a while, and was even regularly seen preparing meals. Many garlic cloves were sacrificed to during these efforts. For a while, I was beginning to think he had returned to a normal life, until the day he decided to give himself a haircut. Now, electric clippers are rather simple to use, and even come with handy attachments to select the length of hair you want. So far so good, but apparently when trying to use one on yourself, it's a good idea to turn one's head from side to side, or use two mirrors, to check the progress along the way, and make adjustments if necessary. If you simply stare straight ahead into the mirror, as it appears Housemateski has done, you run the risk of forgetting about the very back of your head, and giving yourself a slightly lopsided mullet... hair short everywhere you passed the clippers, but right at the back, in that part thats quite difficult to reach if you hold your arms a certain way, remains exactly how it was before.

I didn't have the heart to tell him. He was so proud of his new haircut.

My concerns were raised at an offhand comment that indicated his visa had expired a few months previous, but I was later relieved to discover that he has simply changed to a different class of visa, and is perfectly legally resident in Australia.

Girlfriendski returned, sometime over the weekend, and perhaps they were celebrating this evening, with Czech internet radio playing during dinner, but the familiar melody of a particular song struck me as somewhat out of place, when accompanied by the voice of a Czech singer. The song itself was none other than Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport, despite being an apparently genuine Czech song. Perhaps over there, they sing Tie Me Herd of Goats Down, Sport...